


Crazy Boy

by orphan_account



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Blowjobs, Borderline Personality Disorder, Incest, M/M, casual ableist language, im ohshc trash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-24 22:48:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2599391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was also something to be said about symmetry- whatever illness Hikaru suffered, Kaoru wanted to suffer with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crazy Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer- I am a bpd.

Hikaru was twelve years old when he was brought in. Something about his emotions being out of control, either love or hate and no in-between. He didn't realize that he was anything but normal at this point, didn't know that the things he does and says were suspect.

"You're too young for a full diagnosis." The psychiatrist had told him. "It's something that we can't really tell until you're much older."

He sat uncomfortably in the corner of the room, Kaoru clutching his hand like a little vice. He didn't like this place. The dust was as thick as the tension in the air, and everything was grey. The desk was a slate gray, the walls were pale gray, the carpet was gray, though it probably used to be another color, even the chair on which the psychiatrist sat was gray plaid. It was less awful than a hospital; Hikaru had remembered that hospitals were a terrible, deafening white, but it certainly did not compare to the comfort of his own home.

He said nothing. Their father spoke for him.

"How should we treat him, then, if we are not to get a diagnosis?!" The man's face was red with anger, and the psychiatrist quivered in his seat.

"W-well, sir," he managed, stammering. "We can certainly keep watch over him, and treat him for any other mental illnesses he may have." Their father was not nearly satisfied with this, and continued to yell. Hikaru zoned out.

Kaoru leaned in and whispered in his brother's ear. "I'll still like you, you know. If you're crazy." Then he smiled, and something in Hikaru smiled back, despite the black coiling in his stomach. 

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Kaoru had actually been the one to suggest that there might be something off about Hikaru. To think that his brother might be hurting while he stays content just about broke his heart, so, for his own sake, he needed his twin to get better. (There was also something to be said about symmetry- whatever illness Hikaru suffered, Kaoru wanted to suffer with him.)

He had noticed it one night curled up tight with Hikaru in their bed, the endless space rendered useless forever as they slept always in eachother's warm grip. (Of course, back then they thought nothing of it, being twelve and gracefully unaware of what may eventually surface.) His brother was restless, in a half-awake state. He clung to him, as he always did, but this time, he was talking.

"Don't... Go...." He muttered, breathless. "Please don't... Leave me." Kaoru, unsure of what to do, held onto him as though for dear life and whispered kind words. Hikaru, lost in his own world, merely sobbed himself into a deeper slumber.

In the morning, Kaoru questioned his brother, but Hikaru revealed nothing, and merely told him not to worry. They went about their day together, with Kaoru walking on eggshells.

This went on for a few nights before Kaoru became fed up. 

"Hikaru!" He growled, backing him into a corner. "Just who do you think is going to leave you?!" 

Hikaru merely smiled at him, his eyes deep and sad, and for a second, he seemed wise beyond his years. 

"You're all I have, Kaoru." He answered. "And also, all I have to lose." 

In that moment, Kaoru vowed to never let Hikaru be alone. Not even upon entering the host club. They were always inseparable, because Kaoru could not bear to know what would happen if Hikaru was left by his lonesome. (Secretly, he liked his twin's attention. It was not long before the touches and words uttered in the music room followed them home, and Kaoru, despite his primary instincts, let them. Anything to keep his brother happy and anyway, who was he to say no?)

Between hurried kisses, Hikaru would murmur at him. "Mine..." He would say, and it stung like a declaration of love. "You belong to me." 

Kaoru knew that he meant what he said, always. Their time together like this was not to be taken seriously, but he knew that Hikaru could not bear to see him with anyone else. Quietly, he hoped that never changed.

Hikaru was still too young for a proper diagnosis, but now he was at least old enough to understand. He had a mental illness that caused him to love too hard, too strong, or at least, that's what he got out of the Wikipedia articles. Lucky for him, he cared nothing for anyone other than Kaoru, and he knew that his brother would never hurt him. He was safe.

Neither twin expected a newcomer to change their lives. They expected, of course, to live in their own little world forever. It was a rude awakening to each of them in different ways. Hikaru, who had hardly understood the concept of 'imprinting', grew almost instantly attached to Haruhi, always at her side like a lost puppy. Kaoru discovered that he absolutely hated his brother's mental illness, and it took everything in him not to grow bitter.

He looked on with a heavy heart as Hikaru and Haruhi grew closer and closer, and often felt as though he were pushed into the darkness. In reaction, he began to refuse any intimacy with his brother, and, for the first time, they slept on opposite ends of the bed.

Hikaru, for his part, spoke of nothing but Haruhi. He was, of course, concerned for his brother, but he was so enamored with his new friend that he just brushed it off. Kaoru would come around. He always did.

Weeks past and nothing changed. They still put on an act for the host club guests, but in the privacy of themselves, they were hardly like they used to be. The two didn't know how to fix what was broken and anyway, Kaoru told himself, it didn't need to be fixed. His brother was happy, and that's all that mattered. 

One night, Hikaru moved to Kaoru's side of the bed they still shared, touching his thigh and breathing softly on his neck. "Kaoru..." He whispered, as quietly as his tongue would allow. "Please, let me hold you."

Kaoru grunted in response and turned over, his heart thumping wildly. Suddenly, nothing else mattered. Here, in Hikaru's arms, he was safe and warm.

And yet, he couldn't help but wonder if his brother wished he was Haruhi.

"Brother," Hikaru went on. "I want to kiss you." He paused. "Like we used to." Kaoru whimpered, his brother's words striking a fragile nerve.

"Are you sure?" Are you sure you aren't thinking of someone else? Kaoru wanted to say. He ached physically.

"Sure." Hikaru nodded, and began to place gentle kisses on his neck. Kaoru blasphemed.

Hikaru moved his lips farther, to Kaoru's ear, stopping there to nibble lightly. Ever gentle, ever kind. He peppered little kisses across Kaoru's cheek, then finally moved on to his lips. He kissed him softly, watching his brother's face screw up. He smiles and kissed him harder, and Kaoru wound his arms around his neck.

He pulled back after what seemed like mere moments, leaving Kaoru breathless. He stroked his cheek. Kaoru leaned into the touch, nearly purring.

"Brother..." Hikaru murmured. He hid his face against Kaoru's hair, pressing his nose against him.

"Yes?" Kaoru responded, his eyes wide and his heart helpless to Hikaru's demands. Hikaru could have him, he knew. Hikaru could take anything from him. He only wanted him to be happy. This was his only wish in the world.

"Why have you broken your promise?" Hikaru's voice ran cold, and so did Kaoru's blood. He pulled back to stare, but Hikaru continued to hide his face.

"Hikaru, what are you talking about?" Kaoru's voice was wobbly.

"You broke your promise." His brother muttered into the pillow. "You said you would never leave me, but you have." 

Kaoru gulped. "I-I'm right here." He knew, of course, that his response would not suffice. Sure enough, Hikaru sat up. Kaoru could see, even in the dark of the night, that he was crying. He felt a harsh pang of sympathy.

"No," Hikaru said, more to the bed than to Kaoru. "You've left, at least in spirit." He finally turned to look at him dead on. "Why?" His eyes looked desperate, and Kaoru choked.

Hikaru was beautiful, even now. His pale skin glimmered in the faint light of the moon and his eyes were as deep as anything. Kaoru was again taken aback, and could hardly believe that anyone, let alone himself, could manage to look so radiant. He leaned in to wipe the growing wetness from his brother's eyes, but Hikaru turned away.

"I said tell me why." His voice was cold and full of something like anger.

"You have someone new to take care of you, Hikaru." Kaoru said carefully and quietly. "You don't need me." 

Hikaru stared at him in disbelief, then sprung himself at him, pinning him to the bed and kissing him with all his force. Kaoru was, naturally, surprised, but kissed him back with fervor. His brother worked his way down his chest, touching his whole body, exploring a land he already knew so well. Identical to his own and shivering under his hand. 

They kissed for a long time, and Hikaru began to grind down against him, loving the sound of Kaoru's pleasure against his lips. Every time he pulled away, he would breathe words of love.

"You are mine, Kaoru... I need you..." And then, finally, he said the words that Kaoru hadn't even known he'd been waiting for. 

"I love you."

Kaoru moaned loudly and bucked his hips against his brother, longing for friction. Everything was ok, this was fine. Hikaru had said he loved him! The world had opened up and he was king. Hikaru dug the heel of his hand down onto his brother's crotch, and Kaoru gripped his hair.

"Please, Hikaru..." He begged, staring up at him. Hikaru licked his lips.

"Please what?" He inquired, as casual as ever. Kaoru felt his heart fall into his stomach. 

"Touch me." He whispered, trying his best to keep eye contact. Upon his request, Hikaru sat up and began to take off Kaoru's briefs. He kissed down his brother's chest, then to his hip bones, situating himself between his legs. He left pretty hickies along Kaoru's thighs, making him keen and reach down to grip Hikaru's hair.

Hikaru smiled up at him and nuzzled against his leg. He kissed softly, teasingly at Kaoru's dick, which was already dripping a bit of precum in anticipation. Kaoru whimpered.

After what seemed like a lifetime, Hikaru finally began to lick and suck at him, starting at the tip and cupping Kaoru's balls in his hand. He bobbed his head and took as much of his brother as he could without choking. He enjoyed listening to the sweet sounds of pleasure escaping his brothers lips. 

He reached down with his free hand to stroke himself, roughly and raggedly. He groaned against Kaoru's cock, and Kaoru just about died of happiness. He was close already, and tried to tear himself away from Hikaru's lips, but Hikaru wasn't having any of that. He kept his grip strong, growling, and only sucked harder. He would swallow down whatever his brother had to offer him.

Moments later, Kaoru came in Hikaru's mouth, orgasm washing over him like a tidal wave. He cried out, his brother's name echoing through the room as he bucked up into his mouth.

Hikaru let Kaoru's orgasm flood his throat and stroked himself until he followed suit onto the sheets below, watching Kaoru come back to the world. 

He flopped down on the bed, curling around him and drawing little hearts on his side. "Do you understand, brother?" He asked, smiling. Kaoru was reminded of the sun. He laughed.

"What exactly is there to understand from a blowjob?" He was, of course, still in the dark. Hikaru sighed as though the answer should have been obvious.

"What I have with Haruhi and what I have with you are different." He sounded exasperated. "Haruhi is like.. My cute best friend. And though I love them very much, they could never compare to how I feel about you."

Kaoru was still confused. "Then why are you so..." He trailed off, knowing the answer already.

"S'just who I am, I guess." Hikaru shrugged. "Sorry." He looked uneasy, and Kaoru couldn't help but give him a soft kiss.

"I know. I'm sorry I've been so harsh." He continued to kiss at his brothers cheeks, earning giggles. He was still worried, still afraid, and he wondered if this was what Hikaru felt every day. He supposed then, that he did understand, and that he didn't mind at all. He believed, truly, that they could figure it out, and of course, he would follow his brother to the ends of the earth. That was simply a given.

"Just promise you won't get rid of me." Hikaru said, confirming his thoughts, and Kaoru shook his head.

"Never."


End file.
